Crossover: Character Comparison Fun
by YenGirl
Summary: Isn't it funny how different characters from different anime aren't all that different after all? Self insert, parody and bizarre tongue in cheek humour. Multiple characters.
1. Sasuke Uchiha & Uryuu Ishida

**Author Notes:** Hello, everyone! My daughter and I started watching the Bleach anime earlier this month, and that's when we realised - yet again - that anime characters from different series share notable similarities. As we've only gone through a third of the Bleach anime, please don't give away future spoilers. Hope you enjoy our findings, it will help if you're familiar with the anime mentioned and if you've read our Character Rescue Shelter :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Characters:** Sasuke Uchiha  & Uryuu Ishida

 **Trivia:** Did you know that the roles of Sasuke Uchiha and Uryuu Ishida were voiced by the same Japanese voice actor Noriaki Sugiyama?

 **Spoilers:** Naruto Shippuden after the Fourth Great Ninja War, and Episode 111 (Shock! The Father's True Identity) for Bleach.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

 _In a small hut in a misty land somewhere..._

"What're you doing, mother?"

The mother straightened up from where she had been rummaging under the counter and thumped a large cardboard box onto the counter. A dust bunny sat on her glasses.

"Guess what I found," she said with a triumphant grin and shook off the dust bunny.

"A box of plain white round badges?"

The mother's grin widened.

"A box of _magical_ plain white round badges!"

The daughter's eyes lit up.

"Cool, I'll get the markers!" She bent down and rummaged under the counter in turn, emerging a few moments later with two marker pens in her hand and a dust bunny on her nose which she blew off.

They both sat down and took out a badge each.

"Ready to have some fun, daughter?"

"Ready, mother!"

\- o -

Sasuke Uchiha opened his eyes and found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest.

The sound of quiet footsteps crunching on dry leaves had him spinning around to confront a teenager like himself, black hair framing a thin face and blue eyes behind rectangular glasses.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Uryuu Ishida, almost the last of the Quincy, top in my class and loner of the Bleach series. Who are you?"

"Sasuke Uchiha, last of the Uchiha, top in my class and loner of the Naruto series."

They stared at each other's good looking, expressionless faces. Then something gleamed on Uryuu's shirtfront, catching Sasuke's eye.

"What's that on your shirt?" he asked.

Uryuu glanced down and tried to pluck the white badge off his shirt. It refused to be removed so he finally tugged his school shirt higher.

"Uryuu Ishida," he read aloud. "Top of his class, challenged the protagonist, loner and emo of the Bleach series with a huge chip on his - WHAT?!"

Sasuke smirked at Uryuu's horrified expression.

"I am _not_ an emo," Uryuu seethed. "Just because I have an angsty past and look serious all the time. By the way, you have a badge too."

Startled, Sasuke glanced down and like Uryuu, tried to pull the badge free. It refused to budge. He finally had to pull up his shirt to read the tiny writing.

"Sasuke Uchiha. Top of his class, was challenged by the protagonist, loner and emo of the Naruto series with a huge chip on his - WHAT?!"

Uryuu gave a rare smile.

"I am _not_ an emo either," Sasuke hissed. "Just because I have an angsty past and never smile. Where the hell did this come from anyway?!"

"Don't know," Uryuu muttered, now trying to pry off his badge with the help of a tiny sewing kit he took from his pocket. Then he looked back up.

"So, who's the protagonist who challenged you?"

"Naruto Uzumaki. I couldn't stand him at first, that loud mouth. Always bragging about becoming Hokage. Who's the protagonist whom you challenged?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki. He's a Shinigami* and I... hated them."

They regarded each other in silence for a moment and then Uryuu put away his sewing kit.

"So... what do you think of your Naruto now?" he asked.

"He's not _my_ Naruto, but he is someone I would give my life to protect," Sasuke said. "What do you think of your Ichigo now?"

"He's not _my_ Ichigo, but he is a very good friend," Uryuu said.

They stared at each other, the mutual realisation that they were no longer loners making them smile.

Just a teeny tiny bit.

\- o -

The mother and daughter both sighed as they stared at the small TV screen on the counter.

"They're both cute," remarked the daughter.

"I know, right? And hot too!" agreed the mother.

"Funny how there are so many similarities between anime characters, isn't it?"

"I know, right? We should do more!"

\- Chapter End -

*Shinigami = Soul Reaper

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it and want to read more :)


	2. Zabuza Momochi & Renji Abarai

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone and thank you again to my reviewers! Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Characters:** Zabuza Momochi  & Renji Abarai

 **Spoilers:** Spoilers for Naruto Episode 19 (The Demon in the Snow) and Bleach Episode 32 (Stars and the Stray).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

Zabuza Momochi opened his eyes and found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest.

The sound of quiet footsteps crunching on dry leaves had him spinning around, Executioner's Blade in hand, to confront a man with eyes as narrow as his, and long red hair tied in a high ponytail. The sight of a sword in the man's hand was enough to put Zabuza on the defensive.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"Renji Abarai, Lieutenant of the Sixth Division of the Shinigami of Soul Society, ex-member of the Eleventh Division and hardened warrior of the Bleach series. Who are you?"

"Zabuza Momochi, Demon of the Mist, ex-member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist and hardened warrior of the Naruto series."

Two pairs of brown eyes narrowed further as their owners digested the given information.

"I see you have a sword," Renji offered after a moment.

Zabuza hefted his prized possession, his eyes gleaming.

"Kubikiri Bocho," he said. "The Executioner's Blade."

Renji smirked and withdrew his own.

"My Zanpakuto is Zabimaru."

Zabuza gave the katana a dismissive glance and then he squinted.

"What's that thing on your chest?" he asked. "It looks like a badge."

Renji looked down and tried to pluck the plastic circle off his Shinigami robe, but it seemed to be stuck fast. He grabbed a fistful of robe and pulled it up so he could peer at the badge. Zabuza rolled his eyes at the amount of leg revealed and pointedly looked to the side.

"Renji Abarai," Renji read aloud. "Hardened Shinigami. Determined to be even better than his captain. Shed desperate tears in front of Ichigo - WHAT?!"

The horrified expression on his face made Zabuza throw back his head and roar with laughter.

"That _never_ happened," denied Renji at once, fuming. "Whoever pinned this badge of _lies_ on me is going to get it! Just as soon as I find out who it - wait, you have one too."

Startled, Zabuza looked down and blinked. He tried to pull off the badge from his left sword strap, but failed and was reduced to hoisting the strap higher up. Renji hoped the strap would break - hah, that would be fun! - and kept his gaze on him.

"Zabuza Momochi," Zabuza read aloud. "Hardened assassin. Listed in every bingo book there is. Shed remorseful tears in front of Naruto - WHAT?!"

It was Renji's turn to laugh out loud and he did.

"Some demon you are," he mocked. "So - why did you cry? Stubbed your toe?"

"Shut up," Zabuza growled. "It was that brat Naruto's fault. He reminded me that Haku lived and died for me, and that I never appreciated-"

"Who's Naruto?" Renji interrupted, tipping his head to one side.

"The main protagonist of the Naruto series, that's who!"

"Ah. Who's Haku then?" Renji tipped his head to the other side.

"My... former apprentice," Zabuza muttered, face turning suspiciously red.

"Former?" Renji repeated. "So, what's he now? Oh, he's dead, right?"

"No, he's alive!* And he's my - it's none of your business what he is now!" Zabuza blustered. "Anyway, why did _you_ cry? Got a paper cut?"

"Shut up," Renji scowled. "It was that brat Ichigo's fault. He swore he was going to rescue Rukia, no matter what it took. And after he defeated me-"

"Who's Ichigo?"

"The main protagonist of the Bleach series, that's who!"

"Hmm. Who's Rukia then?"

"My... best friend. Sort of," Renji muttered, face turning red as well.

"Sort of?" Zabuza repeated. "You don't know for sure?"

"I know what she means to me, but it's none of your business!" Renji huffed. "The point is, who pinned these damned badges on us?!"

"Yeah," Zabuza growled. "Just wait til I get my hands on them."

"When I get _my_ hands on them, you mean," Renji countered.

"No, _my_ hands."

"No. _Mine_."

\- o -

The mother and daughter giggled away at the small TV screen on the counter, but sighed and shook their heads when the inevitable fight started.

"Well, that was fun while it lasted," said the mother.

"It sure was," agreed the daughter.

"Who should we do next?"

"How about someone really good looking for a change?"

"Oh, I know a captain who fits that description!"

"Me too!"

\- Story End -

*Zabuza and Haku are from our Character Rescue Shelter series because we much prefer them being alive and happy.

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


	3. Byakuya Kuchiki & Sesshomaru

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone and thank you again to my reviewers! Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Kudos:** Congrats to **Mistress 0f Dragons** & **Rukia** for correctly guessing one of the stars of this chapter!

 **Characters:** Byakuya Kuchiki  & Sesshomaru

 **Spoilers:** Spoilers for Bleach (The Rescue arc).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo while Inuyasha belongs to to Rumiko Takahashi.

\- Chapter Start -

Slate grey eyes fringed with thick eyelashes opened and looked around.

Byakuya Kuchiki found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest. It looked like he was alone, but he knew better. Someone was approaching him from behind, walking on silent feet and emitting a reiatsu level that - although he was loathed to even think it - rivaled a Captain's.

Spinning around, he confronted a tall male with golden eyes, magenta stripes on both cheeks and a purple crescent moon on his forehead. He had pointed ears and long flowing white hair. A thick white fur rested on his right shoulder and the hilts of two katana protruded from his belt.

"Who are you?" he asked. "Speak."

Byakuya thinned his lips in annoyance, but found himself answering anyway.

"Byakuya Kuchiki, twenty eighth head of the Kuchiki clan, one of the four great noble clans in Soul Society, Captain of the Sixth Division of the Shinigami of Soul Society _and_ aristocrat of the Bleach series. Who are you?"

"This Sesshomaru is a full blooded dog demon, feudal lord, firstborn son of Inu no Taishō _and_ aristocrat of the Inuyasha series."

They digested the given information in silence.

"I see you carry a fur wrap," Byakuya offered, ignoring the katana although he himself carried one. Too obvious. "It's very... fluffy."

Golden eyes narrowed.

"This _wrap_ as you call it, is Mokomoko, a part of my true form, with abilities beyond your comprehension. Certainly more than that scrap of cloth around your neck."

Byakuya's delicate nostrils flared in annoyance.

"This _scrap_ as you call it, is woven by a master weaver from pure silver-white windflower silk. It is a family heirloom, passed down to each head of the Kuchiki Clan, and needs no other abilities."

The silence that followed this time was charged with tension. Then Sesshomaru spoke again.

"And is that tacky badge on it also an heirloom?"

Startled, Byakuya looked down, lips twisting in distaste at the plastic _\- plastic! -_ circle attached to his precious scarf. He tried to remove it, but it seemed to be stuck fast. Resigned to removing it later, he lifted the fold of scarf and read the miniscule writing on the badge.

"Byakuya Kuchiki, wanted to kill the main protagonist the first time they met, is easily annoyed by him and cares for a lowly female. Aristocrat of the Bleach series. Hmph!"

The tiny smirk on Sesshomaru's face told Byakuya he looked as disconcerted as he felt.

"You have one too," he said, "on that... mokomoko of yours."

Sesshomaru looked at the fur, golden eyes widening in surprise. He tried to remove the plastic circle, but it seemed to be stuck fast. He finally lifted his Mokomoko up to read the tiny writing on the badge.

"Sesshomaru, wanted to kill the main protagonist the first time they met, is easily annoyed by him and cares for a lowly female. Aristocrat of the Inuyasha series. Hm."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow, feeling amused and strangely relieved.

"Inuyasha is young, ignorant and disrespectful," Sesshomaru said with a shrug. "Charges into everything without a single thought."

"Ichigo Kurosaki as well," replied Byakuya. "Is that why you wanted to kill your Inuyasha?"

"He is not _my_ Inuyasha. No, that was because he is a half demon with a human mother, yet our father gave him the more powerful sword."

Byakuya shook his head in mock sorrow.

"Ah, sibling rivalry. How trite."

"Why did you want to kill your Ichigo then?" Sesshomaru demanded, looking displeased.

"He is not _my_ Ichigo," snapped Byakuya. "He tried to prevent me from taking Rukia back to Soul Society to be tried for her crimes. And he had the cheek to rescue her from her execution."

Sesshomaru shook his head as well.

"Ah. One-upsmanship. How cliched."

Byakuya glared at him.

"Rules are made to be followed. At that time, I did not know her arrest and execution had been orchestrated by someone else."

"Is this Rukia the lowly female you care for?" Sesshomaru asked.

Slate grey eyes softened as their owner nodded.

"Rukia Kuchiki. Younger sister of my late wife Hisana and now my adopted sister. What about your female?"

"This Sesshomaru does not care for-"

Byakuya sighed and held up one slender hand.

"Who is it?"

Sesshomaru huffed, folding his arms across his chest and looking to the side.

"Rin. A human child."

"Your adopted younger sister?"

"No. I just allow her to follow me around. She... likes flowers," Sesshomaru admitted, his golden eyes softening. "And she is good friends with Inuyasha and his motley crew."

"Rukia is good friends with Ichigo and his comrades," Byakuya admitted, permitting himself a small smile.

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow.

"So - no more thoughts of killing your Ichigo then?"

"No. And he is not _my_ Ichigo. What about your Inuyasha?"

"No. And he is not _my_ Inuyasha either."

"Fine."

"Fine."

\- o -

The mother and daughter chuckled while staring at the small TV screen on the counter.

"They're more alike than they think," remarked the mother.

"And gorgeous as well," sighed the daughter.

"I know, right?" said the mother. "So, what's next?"

"Well, how about that old fall-from-a-great-height-and-is-caught-bridal-style cliche?"

"Ooh, I can think of at least two girls who have experienced that, daughter!"

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. Any guesses as to who those ladies might be? Hint: one is from Bleach and the other from Inuyasha :)


	4. Rukia Kuchiki & Kagome Higurashi

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Kudos:** Congrats to **Mistress 0f Dragons** for correctly guessing the stars of this chapter!

 **Characters:** Rukia Kuchiki, Kagome Higurashi... and guests.

 **Spoilers:** Spoilers for Inuyasha Episodes 140 (Eternal Love, The Naginata of Kenkon), 175 (Among the Twinkling Stars) and the Affections Touching Across Time movie, and Bleach Episodes 71 (The Moment of Collision! An Evil Hand Draws Near to the Quincy), 93 (The Bount Assault! The Gotei 13 of Destructive Earthquake), 239 (The Awakening Hyōrinmaru! Hitsugaya's Fierce Fight) and 245 (Pursue Byakuya! The Confused Gotei Divisions).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

Rukia Kuchiki opened her eyes and found herself standing in a small clearing in a forest.

The sound of footsteps on dry leaves made her spin around to see a pretty girl dressed in a school uniform. She had long black hair, large brown eyes... and a significant amount of spiritual reiatsu.

"Who are you?" Rukia asked.

"Kagome Higurashi, human schoolgirl and prominent character from the Inuyasha series. Who are you?"

"Rukia Kuchiki, Shinigami of Soul Society and prominent character of the Bleach series."

They both bowed and smiled at each other.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" Kagome asked, glancing around. "I don't think this is Feudal Japan."

Rukia looked around as well.

"I'm not sure, but it could be somewhere near Karakura Town. By the way, is that your school badge?"

Kagome looked down at the white plastic badge attached to her school uniform shirt. She tried to pluck it off but it seemed to be stuck fast. She finally pulled her shirt up higher to read the tiny writing on it.

"Kagome Higurashi, human schoolgirl and prominent member of the Inuyasha series. Was caught bridal style after falling from a great height."

She blinked in surprise and then started laughing, two pink spots appearing on her cheeks.

"I don't know who pinned this on me, but it's true. Hey, you have a badge too, read what it says!"

Rukia looked down at her robes and tried to detach the white badge, but failed. She tugged her robes higher to peer at it.

"Rukia Kuchiki, Shinigami of Soul Society and prominent character from the Bleach series. Was caught bridal style after falling from a great height," she read aloud and smiled. "So I have."

Kagome twirled around, smiling happily with her hands clasped in front of her.

"To be caught by a pair of strong, manly arms... isn't that the most wonderful feeling in the world?"

"It is indeed," Rukia agreed. "So, who did those manly arms belong to for you?"

"Inuyasha, of course," Kagome replied. "He does it with such confidence, I know he'll never let me fall. What about you?"

"Byakuya Kuchiki, my older brother. He does it with such grace, I... I felt like a princess. Oh, and Ichigo caught me once too, after I was injured and practically fell out of a Senkai gate."

They smiled at each other, knowing exactly how the other person felt. They may be strong female characters in their own right, but...

"Since Inuyasha isn't here, I'll admit it made me special and cared for," Kagome said, her eyes going all starry.

"And since nii-sama and Ichigo aren't here, I'll admit it made me feel the same way," Rukia agreed. "They each caught me like that only once though."

"Really?" Kagome blinked. "Inuyasha's caught me like that at least three times."

She started counting on her fingers, muttering to herself. Rukia heard more footsteps and turned to see a familiar figure approaching them with white spiky hair and wide turquoise eyes.

"Captain Hitsugaya, what are you doing here?"

Toshiro looked around, frowning.

"I have no idea, Kuchiki. Am I dreaming?"

"Oh, hello there! I'm Kagome Higurashi from the Inuyasha series. You have a badge just like us!"

Rukia bit her lip as the short captain tried to detach the white plastic badge on his haori without success. He finally pulled it higher up and peered at it.

"Toshiro Hitsugaya, Captain of the Tenth Division in the Gotei Thirteen from the Bleach series," he read aloud. "Was carried bridal style by Hyorinmaru after defeating him in the Zanpakuto arc."

He looked a bit abashed, but nodded.

"That's right. The last thing I asked him before passing out was if he remembered who I was."

As Rukia rattled off a quick explanation about the Gotei Thirteen and who Hyorinmaru was to Kagome, Toshiro heard footsteps and turned to see a familiar figure approaching them with black hair framing a thin face and blue eyes behind rectangular glasses.

"You're Ishida, one of Kurosaki's friends. What are you doing here?"

"Captain Hitsugaya? And Kuchiki-san too," Ishida glanced behind him. "I was just talking to this Sasuke character..."

"Who's that?" Rukia asked before her sharp eyes spotted something. "Did you know you have two badges on your shirt?"

"What? There was only one!" Ishida looked down and made a strange noise in his throat, it sounded like distress. He tried to tear off both of them, but failed.

"Well, what do they say?" Rukia asked.

"Read them aloud, please!" Kagome added, looking excited.

With an annoyed sigh, Ishida tugged his shirt up and narrowed his eyes at the second badge, ignoring the first one.

"Uryuu Ishida," he read aloud. "Top of his class, loner and emo of the Bleach series. Was carried bridal style while unconscious - WHAT?!"

"Oh, that's wonderful," Kagome said, smiling from ear to ear.

"Indeed it is," Rukia said. She tried to keep a straight face, glanced at Toshiro who raised an eyebrow at her, and then at Kagome.

In the next instant, both females were clinging to each other and giggling hysterically while Ishida glared at them, hands on hips and two bright red spots on his cheeks. Toshiro just folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. The laughter went on for a long time before the two girls sobered up, sniffling and wiping their streaming eyes.

"My apologies, Ishida," Rukia tried to sound contrite. "It was wrong of me to laugh."

"I'm sorry as well, Ishida-san," Kagome apologised. "You must have been gravely injured at that time to be unconscious. Does the badge say who carried you?"

"I have no idea since I was supposedly unconscious at the time," Ishida replied with a huff.

"Well, continue reading it then!"

Ishida rolled his eyes and pulled the badge up to eye level again.

"Carried bridal style while unconscious by Yoshino Soma who was battling Ryo Utagawa. Really?!"

"Ah, that's right," Rukia agreed, "there were flames all around, but I distinctly remember seeing you in Yoshino's arms before she vanished."

She wanted to laugh again, but didn't since Ishida was looking utterly mortified.

"Wow, this Yoshino must be really strong," Kagome said, looking awed. "Was she big and muscular?"

Toshiro snorted and Ishida shook his head.

"No, she was a normal sized female and beautiful," Rukia said, shooting a mischievous look at Ishida who just turned away.

Taking pity on him, Rukia turned to Kagome.

"She was a Bount," she explained. "They're a race of long lived humans with special abilities."

"In that case, Ishida-san, there's no need to be embarrassed," Kagome said in a soothing voice. "A pair of strong female arms feels just as safe as a male's, right?"

"Darned right it does!" someone else said.

The four of them spun around to see a petite female standing there, feet apart and hands on hips. She had dark hair cut in a short bob and was dressed in a sleeveless Captain's haori, with a plastic badge pinned to her front.

"Captain Soifon!" Rukia exclaimed. "Wait - you were carried bridal style too?"

Ishida smirked and pushed his glasses higher up his nose, seemingly recovered from his earlier embarrassment.

"I believe she is referring to Yoruichi-san," he said.

"Well, who else could I possibly mean?" Soifon tossed her head, her cheeks flushed pink. "Who else could carry me so effortlessly, with such dignity _and_ grace?"

As she explained who Yoruichi was to a mystified looking Kagome, adding more flattering adjectives than was strictly needed, Ishida sighed and looked at Rukia and Toshiro.

"At least I'm not the only one, " he muttered, "but there'd better not be anymore of these badges appearing on me."

\- o -

The mother and daughter chuckled as they stared at the small TV screen on the counter.

"Ishida is lots of fun to toy with," said the mother.

"He sure is," agreed the daughter. "So, who should we do next?"

"How about two characters who love conducting experiments on others?"

"Oh, I know just the two you mean, mother!"

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. Any guesses as to who the next two characters are? Hint: one is from Bleach and the other from Naruto :)


	5. Mayuri Kurotsuchi & Orochimaru

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone and thank you again to my reviewers!

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Kudos:** Congrats to **Guest** for correctly guessing the stars of this chapter! Alas, we've not seen One Piece so we can't comment on the similarities of its characters to others.

 **Characters:** Mayuri Kurotsuchi  & Orochimaru

 **Spoilers:** Nothing major that we can think of.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo while Naruto belongs to to Masashi Kishimoto.

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of golden eyes opened and peered around. Mayuri Kurotsuchi found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest and frowned.

Where was this place?

Had he fallen asleep at his desk again and was dreaming?

Nemu should have woken him up. Wait - someone else was here. He turned to see a tall thin male standing there with long black hair, pale skin and golden eyes like his.

"Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Captain of the Twelfth Division of the Shinigami of Soul Society, and Head of the Shinigami Research Institute," Mayuri introduced himself. "At your service."

"Orochimaru, Anbu, S-rank nin, rogue nin, ex-Akatsuki member, and one of the legendary Sannin," the other replied and took a step closer.

Mayuri spied the purple markings around Orochimaru's eyes and how the pupils were slitted, like a snake's. He had never seen such eyes before... and his reiatsu! Most intriguing.

"My my, what have we here?" he said, baring golden teeth in a wide smile. "You are quite a unique individual."

Orochimaru tipped his head to one side.

"Is that so?"

Mayuri's grin widened still further.

"Yes, indeed. I would very much like to find out why your reiatsu feels like such an interesting mix. As a scientist, I am always eager to learn new things."

Orochimaru gave a slow, lazy smile.

"As a fellow scientist, so am I, but not too keen on being tested."

"Nonsense!" Mayuri declared. "I have already selected you as my next test subject. The rights of refusal or acceptance are out of your hands!"

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow.

"And what would I get in return?"

Mayuri tsk-ed.

"Everyone's always fussing over the small details."

Orochimaru frowned.

"Speaking of which, what's that badge on your chest?"

"Exactly... eh?"

Mayuri looked down at the white plastic badge attached to his robe. He tapped it with the very long nail of his right middle finger and tried to remove it, but failed. Seeing some tiny writing on the badge, he pulled his robe higher up.

"'Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Captain of the Twelfth Division of the Shinigami of Soul Society and Head of the Shinigami Research Institute. Loves conducting experiments on himself and on others.' Hmm yes, perfectly true."

He grinned again at Orochimaru.

"By the way, you have a badge too."

Like him, Orochimaru tried to pluck off his badge, failed, and pulled his shirt higher up.

"'Orochimaru, Anbu, S-rank nin, rogue nin, ex-Akatsuki member and one of the legendary Sannin. Loves conducting experiments on himself and on others.' Nothing wrong with that."

Mayuri nodded excitedly.

"Exactly! I don't understand why everyone gets so upset about it. How tiresome."

"They should just give us free rein to do as we please," added Orochimaru, getting into the swing of things.

"And provide us with as many test subjects as we require!"

"Irrespective of gender or age!"

"After all, we scientists are always in the pursuit of knowledge! Of discovering new things!"

"Like new kekkei-genkai!"

"What's that? Sounds interesting! Or how to create a soul from nothing!"

"How's that possible? Or learn the secret to immortality!"

They both stared at each other, golden eyes gleaming with excitement. Then Mayuri blinked.

"Which is why I want to experiment on you," he said. "I must know why your reiatsu feels so strange."

Orochimaru shook his head.

"Not going to happen."

"Of course it is," Mayuri huffed. "Come along now, let's not waste anymore of my time."

Orochimaru shook his head again, golden eyes gleaming in an unspoken challenge.

Mayuri tsk-ed again and withdrew his katana.

"Rip, Ashisogi Jizō."

Orochimaru grinned. His jaw dropped, mouth opening impossibly wide as the hilt of a katana emerged from its depths.

Mayuri almost drooled in excitement.

"Ooh, I must experiment on you! Right now!"

"Sorry, not happening," Orochimaru hissed.

"Oh yes, it will."

"Are you not scared of me?"

"No! Why should I be? You are most fascinating! Wait, come back here!"

\- o -

The mother and daughter blinked at the small TV screen on the counter which showed a merry chase going on inside the forest.

"Well, that's unexpected," remarked the mother.

"I know, right?" said the daughter and sighed, shaking her head. "So, who should we do next?"

"Hmm, how about two good friends who hide their zanpakuto's abilities for very different reasons?"

"I think I know just the two you mean, mother," said the daughter with a smile.

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. Any guesses as to who the next two characters from Bleach might be? :)


	6. Ikkaku Madarame & Yumichika Ayasegawa

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! This chapter has a teeny tiny hint of yaoi, sorry - it was just too tempting to resist :p

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Characters:** Ikkaku Madarame  & Yumichika Ayasegawa (characters from the same series this time)

 **Spoilers:** Bleach Episode 119 (Zaraki Division's Secret Story! The Lucky Men)  & 220 (Ikkaku Falls! The Shinigami's Crisis).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of beautiful purple eyes opened and looked around, widening in surprise.

Yumichika Ayasegawa found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest. He heard the sound of footsteps approaching and spun around, smiling when he saw who it was.

"Ikkaku," he greeted his best friend. "What are you doing here? Do you know where we are?"

Ikkaku Madarame looked around and shrugged.

"No idea," he said. "Maybe it's a dream."

Yumichika raised a delicate eyebrow, amused.

"That would suggest I am in _your_ dream. Now why would you be dreaming about me?"

Ikkaku's mouth dropped open.

"No way," he sputtered. "Maybe it's _your_ dream and I'm in it!"

Indignant and a bit flustered, Yumichika tossed his head.

"That would never happen! I-" he caught sight of something small and white on Ikkaku's manly chest - uhm, robe and pointed at it.

"What is that ugly thing on your chest? Hardly a beautiful accessory."

Startled, Ikkaku looked down at the small white plastic circle attached to the lapel of his robe. He tried to pull it off but it was stuck fast. He yanked harder, felt his robe start to tear and stopped.

"There's writing on it," he muttered.

"Oh? What does it say?" Yumichika was curious.

Huffing, Ikkaku tugged his robe higher, exposing half his chest. Yumichika pretended to look to one side.

"Ikkaku Madarame, Third Seat of the Eleventh Division of the Shinigami of Soul Society, loves fighting more than anything. Determined to keep his Bankai a secret."

"Damned right, I am," he agreed.

"But I already know about it," Yumichika pointed out.

"I meant other people," Ikkaku said curtly.

Yumichika ran his fingers through his hair and smiled.

"I believe Renji-san, Iba-san and Captain Komamura also know about it... even if they haven't seen it."

Ikkaku crossed his arms and glared at him.

"Well, _no one else_ is going to find out about it."

There was an edge to his voice, and an almost desperate look in his eyes, that drew Yumichika closer.

"You know, if you don't want to be Captain, just decline the position if it's offered." he said quietly.

Ikkaku exhaled and looked down.

"It's not that easy to refuse a Captaincy," he muttered bitterly and then he caught sight of something. "You have a badge too."

"What?"

Yumichika looked down, tsk'ed in annoyance and tried to remove the badge with care. It didn't come off either so he was reduced to carefully pulling his robe higher, hoping Ikkaku appreciated the view if nothing else.

"Yumichika Ayasegawa, Fifth Seat of the Eleventh Division of the Shinigami of Soul Society, loves being beautiful more than anything. Determined to keep his Shikai a secret."

He hesitated before nodding.

Ikkaku narrowed his eyes at him.

"Wait. _Fuji Kujaku_ \- with the four blades - isn't your real Shikai?"

Yumichika pressed his lips together and shook his head.

"Partial," he said.

"So what's your real Shikai then?" Ikkaku demanded, hands on hips.

Yumichika shook his head.

"Tell me," Ikkaku insisted. "You already know about my Bankai."

Silence. Then Ikkaku looked around.

"I know you won't tell anyone about my Bankai. The same goes for me too. I won't tell anyone about your Shikai."

Yumichika sighed.

"Fine. My zanpakuto is..." he swallowed, "kido-based."

Ikkaku's eyebrows shot up, mouth falling open in shock.

"You're joking!"

Yumichika crossed his arms and and glared at him.

"I'm not!" he hissed. "Look..."

He launched into a brief explanation about Ruri-iro Kujaku and his take on the colours azure and wisteria. When he finished, Ikkaku let out a low whistle.

"Satisfied now?" Yumichika asked bitterly. "I'd be kicked out of our division if anybody found out. If Captain Zaraki doesn't kill me first."

They were both silent for a moment and then Ikkaku nodded.

"So that's why you kept it a secret even from me."

"I'm sorry," Yumichika apologised with a slight smile.

He was more relieved than he wanted to admit that Ikkaku hadn't whacked him over the head and run off screaming. Then again, they were in Ikkaku's dream so he supposed he should say he was lucky Ikkaku hadn't whacked him over the head and demanded that he get the hell out of his dream.

Deep in thought, Yumichika almost missed his friend's next words.

"We'll just have to make sure no one finds out."

"Wait - you're really alright with this?" Yumichika asked, stunned.

Ikkaku shrugged.

"We both want to fight and die under Captain Zaraki, don't we?" he asked and took a step closer, clapping his hand on his friend's left shoulder. "You keep my secret, I'll keep yours."

Yumichika smiled gratefully and placed his right hand over Ikkaku's, giving it a brief squeeze. He frowned when Ikkaku's eyebrows shot up.

"Why are you squeezing my hand?"

Yumichika snatched his hand off and tossed his head, pouting.

"You just ruined a beautiful moment!"

\- o -

The mother and daughter giggled at the small TV screen on the counter.

"Well, that's unexpected," remarked the mother. "But they're both soooooo cute!"

"Yes, it is unexpected and no, it isn't cute," argued the daughter. "Well, who should we do next?"

"How about fathers who kept life changing secrets from their own sons?"

"I think I know just the two you mean!"

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. Any guesses as to who the next two characters might be? Hint: one is from Bleach and the other from Naruto :)


	7. Isshin Kurosaki & Minato Namikaze

**Author Notes:** Hello again, everyone! Enjoy more silliness :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Kudos:** Congrats to **Lucy** for correctly guessing the stars of this chapter!

 **Characters:** Isshin Kurosaki  & Minato Namikaze

 **Trivia:** Did you know that the roles of Isshin and Minato were voiced by the same Japanese voice actor Toshiyuki Morikawa?

 **Spoilers:** Bleach Episode 296 (The Shocking Truth...The Mysterious Power Within Ichigo!), Shippuden 168 (The Fourth Hokage)  & 380 (The Day Naruto Was Born).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo while Naruto belongs to to Masashi Kishimoto.

\- Chapter Start -

Minato Namikaze opened his eyes and found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest.

The sound of quiet footsteps behind him made him spin around, a hiraishin kunai appearing in his hand. A tall, well built man stood there. He had short dark hair, long sideburns and a stubbled chin. He wore black robes and his chakra levels were... formidable.

Minato gave a wary nod.

"Minato Namikaze, Fourth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village," he introduced himself. "Who might you be?"

"Isshin Kurosaki, former Captain of the Tenth Division of the Gotei 13."

They nodded politely at each other.

"So, any idea where we are?" Minato asked, glancing around.

Kurosaki looked around as well.

"None whatsoever," he admitted. "I don't sense any danger though, do you?"

Seeing the raised eyebrow directed at his three pronged kunai, Minato smiled in acknowledgement and slid it back into his pouch. He cast about in his mind for something to say and saw the white plastic circle on Kurosaki's robes.

"Is that your Gotei 13 membership badge?"

Kurosaki looked down at the white badge attached to his robes. He tried to pluck it off but it seemed to be stuck fast so he shrugged and tugged it higher, peering at it.

"Isshin Kurosaki, former Captain of the Tenth Division of the Gotei 13 and silly father figure of the Bleach series. Sacrificed his Shinigami powers and hid his true identity from his own son."

"Wait - you're a _Shinigami?_ " Minato asked in shock.

"Yeah, why?"

Minato shrugged.

"Nothing, just that you don't look anything like the Shinigami I once summoned."

"Wait - you _summoned_ one? How - what did he look like?"

"Long white shaggy hair, two red horns... you know what, never mind." Minato decided to change the subject. "So, you kept a big secret from your own son?"

"From my daughters too, but yeah," Kurosaki replied with a decisive nod. "For a damned good reason though."

"I'm sure it was," Minato agreed. "And your son is...?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki, MC of the Bleach series," Kurosaki replied with a proud smile and took a step closer. "Hey, did you know you have a badge too?"

Startled, Minato looked down at the plastic white circle pinned to his Hokage coat. He tried to pull it off, couldn't and lifted his coat higher to read the tiny writing.

"Minato Namikaze, Fourth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village and heroic father figure of the Naruto series. Sacrificed his life and hid his true identity from his own son."

Kurosaki stared at him, head tipped to one side.

"Sacrificed your life, huh? That's more drastic, but I'm sure you had a good reason, like I did."

Minato nodded, his blue eyes pensive.

So, who's your son?"

"Naruto Uzumaki, MC of the Naruto series," Minato replied with a proud smile.

"When did he find out? Was he shocked?"

"During his battle with Pein. Of course he was shocked, he even punched me in the gut," Minato recalled with a small laugh. "But truly, he was very matured about it. What about your son?"

"During his battle with Aizen," Kurosaki replied. "I'll say he was shocked, I appeared right in front of him in my Shinigami robes! Right before I headbutted him off the building too, ahahahaha!"

Minato sweatdropped as he waited for Kurosaki to stop laughing.

"But yeah, Ichigo was real matured about it too. Said I didn't have to explain anything until I was ready."

Minato smiled.

"Naruto said I didn't have to explain anything at all, since his mother, my late wife, Kushina, had already talked to him."

They were both silent for a moment before Minato cleared his throat.

"Kushina and I... we couldn't be prouder of Naruto," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Same here," Kurosaki said solemnly. "Masaki, my late wife, and I couldn't be prouder of Ichigo, too."

\- o -

The mother and daughter both sniffed happily at the small TV screen on the counter.

"I'm glad that ended without any fistfights," said the mother.

"That's because they didn't have anything to fight about," said the daughter. "So, who should we do next?"

"How about two headstrong characters with something dangerous inside of them that can control or destroy them?"

The daughter face palmed.

"I think you've already given away the answer, mother."

"But I can't think of any other way to put it!"

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. Any guesses as to who the next two characters might be? Hint: one is from Bleach and the other from Naruto :)


	8. Ichigo Kurosaki & Naruto Uzumaki

**Author Notes:** Hello again, everyone! Enjoy more silliness :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Kudos:** Congrats to **Yoru no Katana** for correctly guessing the stars of this chapter!

 **Characters:** Ichigo Kurosaki  & Naruto Uzumaki

 **Spoilers:** The entire Naruto  & Shippuden series and the Bleach series.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo while Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

\- Chapter Start -

Ichigo Kurosaki opened his eyes and found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest.

The sound of quiet footsteps behind him made him spin around. A teenager about his age stood there with spiky yellow hair, round blue eyes and three horizontal lines on each cheek, like whiskers. He wore a headband with a metal plate over his forehead, an orange jumpsuit and a friendly smile.

Ichigo nodded at him.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, MC of the Bleach series," he introduced himself.

"Naruto Uzumaki, MC of the Naruto series," the other boy replied.

Ichigo nodded again.

"So, where is this place? Do you know where we are?" he asked, glancing around.

Naruto chuckled, rubbing the back of his head with one hand.

"No idea," he admitted. "One forest pretty much looks like another, you know?"

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed. He studied Naruto's outfit with his head tipped to one side, eyebrows going up when he spied the white plastic circle on the front.

"That your school badge?"

Naruto looked down at the white badge attached to his outfit.

"Huh," he said and tried to pull it off. It seemed to be stuck fast so he tugged it higher, peering at it.

"Naruto Uzumaki, MC of the Naruto series. Brash and impulsive. Makes friends wherever he goes. Has something dangerous inside of him that can control or destroy him."

He looked startled for a moment and then he laughed again.

"Yeah, but that was when I only knew him as the Nine Tailed Fox. Now, he's part of a Leaf Village two man tag team - Kurama!"

That second sentence was accompanied by outflung arms and a big, cheesy grin.

 _Darned right and don't you forget it!_

Ichigo's eyebrows shot up. He looked around, searching for the source of that deep echoing voice.

"What about you?" Naruto prompted. "You have a badge too, you know."

Ichigo looked down at his school uniform shirt. He saw the white plastic badge and pulled it higher up to squint at it.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, MC of the Bleach series. Brash and impulsive. Makes friends wherever he goes. Has something dangerous inside of him that can control or destroy him."

He nodded.

"Yeah, that was my Hollow."

"Your Hollow?" Naruto repeated, frowning in confusion. "What's that?"

"It's my... uh, it's a long story. I guess you could say... one of my powers?" Ichigo scratched the back of his head and shrugged; he was no good with explanations.

"Is it still a danger to you? Or is he your friend, like Kurama is now?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes alight with curiosity.

Ichigo ignored the deep purr that rumbled around them and gave a lopsided grin, resting a hand on the hilt of one of his katana.

"He's one of my weapons now so he's no longer a danger."

Naruto nodded, still frowning as he touched his badge.

"Guess we don't have anything else in common, do we?"

"Yeah."

Just as the silence started to get awkward, Ichigo straightened up.

"Wait. Another badge just appeared on your shirt."

Naruto looked down and tugged the second badge higher to peer at what looked like hurriedly written words.

"Naruto Uzumaki, MC of the Naruto series. Brash and impulsive. Best friend of spunky female protagonist and ends up marrying her polar opposite."

He looked up at Ichigo and blinked.

" _Marriage?_ I'm only seventeen, you know! Who's writing these?"

"Beats me," Ichigo shrugged.

"Well, you have a second badge now, too."

Startled, Ichigo looked down and tugged the second badge higher to peer at what looked like hurriedly written words.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, MC of the Bleach series. Brash and impulsive. Best friend of spunky female protagonist and ends up marrying her polar opposite."

He blinked at Naruto.

"I'm also just seventeen! Who the hell wrote - wait."

Ichigo looked away, face flushing a bit as a certain someone's smiling face popped up in his mind's eye. Looking back at Naruto, he saw the ninja's eyes widening as if in sudden realisation, whiskered cheeks turning pink.

They both stared at one another.

"I think I know who it might be," Naruto said and grinned.

"I think I do too," Ichigo said with a smile.

\- o -

The mother and daughter both blinked at the small TV screen on the counter, still holding their uncapped markers.

"I was so sure they had a whole lot more in common than that," commented the mother, frowning.

"Me too," said the daughter. "Is that why you added in the romance part?"

The mother smiled happily.

"That's the best part, isn't it?"

"Is not. The best part is that they're both awesome MCs!"

"Well, yes, but there could've been more romance as well, they hardly showed any of the main couples going on dates!"

"Thank goodness for that," muttered the daughter. "They sorta lose their cool once they grow up and become adults."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. We'll continue the series when we can think of 2 more characters with striking similarities :)


	9. 7 Ninja Swordsmen, Band of 7 & Guests

**Author Notes:** Hello again everyone! This chapter will make a lot more sense if you're familiar with the numerous fanmade AMVs set to Disney Mulan's 'I'll Make a Man Out of You' song. Check them out on YouTube if you haven't, many of them are very well made :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Kudos:** Thank you to **Yoru no Katana** & **Mizura Rani 1** for your suggestions! We'll get to them one day... hopefully :)

 **Characters:** The Seven Swordsmen of the Mist (Naruto) vs The Band of Seven (Inuyasha) vs The Espada (Bleach) vs The Akatsuki (Naruto).

 **Spoilers:** Nothing really major that I can think of.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo and Inuyasha belongs to to Rumiko Takahashi. And Disney's Mulan belongs to Disney, of course :)

\- Chapter Start -

Seven pairs of eyes opened at the same time and darted around, widening in puzzlement.

"Where are we?" Fuguki Suikazan asked.

"How the hell should I know," Jinpachi Munashi asked. "A forest?"

"That much we all know, Captain Obvious," Kushimaru Kuriarare sneered.

"Shut up!" Jinpachi snapped. "Who asked-"

"That's enough," Zabuza Momochi ordered, trying to hide his bafflement.

He had left the Seven Swordsmen group, hadn't he?

Why was he back with them when he should be with Haku now?

Was this just a dream then?

After all, there was something familiar about this setting. He looked down and inhaled sharply at the badges (yes - there were two of them now. Two!) stuck to his sword straps.

That didn't bode well. Hopefully, no one would notice.

"Hey, I've got a badge on my robe," Mangetsu Hozuki said and looked around. "In fact, we're all wearing badges. Zabuza even has two of 'em."

"Why does he have two?" Fuguki demanded at once.

"Because he's our leader?" Kushimaru replied, rolling his eyes. "Everyone, read what yours says!"

Amidst mutterings, robes were tugged up and tiny writing read.

"Jinpachi Munashi, current wielder of the Shibuki. Member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, usually referred to as 'The Huns' in AMVs featuring the Disney Mulan's 'I'll Make a Man Out of You' song."

"Kushimaru Kuriarare, current wielder of the Nuibari. Member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, usually referred to as 'The Huns' in AMVs featuring the Disney Mulan's 'I'll Make a Man Out of You' song."

The other badges read the same except for the wearer of each badge and the sword they wielded.

"What the hell!" Ameyuri exclaimed. "We're not the Huns!"

"What're AMVs?" Mangetsu asked.

"Who's Disney?" Jinpachi wanted to know.

"Or Mulan?" Kushimaru asked.

"Most importantly, we're _already_ men!" someone yelled.

"Speak for yourself," Ameyuri said shortly before turning to Zabuza. "Who the hell put these on us? Zabuza, you have two badges - what does your other one say?"

Zabuza sweatdropped and quickly slapped his hand over the badge in question.

"Nothing important," he growled.

"Hey, don't be a spoilsport. Let us see that!"

To Zabuza's relief, another set of footsteps sounded. They all spun around to confront seven individuals, two of whom were enormous.

"We are _not_ the Huns!" Ameyuri proclaimed before Zabuza could say anything.

"Yeah, make no mistake about that!" Kushimaru said.

The newcomers looked at each other and then at them.

"Huh?" said the largest one, head tipped to one side.

Zabuza rolled his eyes and decided that as leader of his group, he should make an attempt to be civil.

"Zabuza Momochi," he introduced himself. "We are the merciless Seven Swordsmen of the Mist from the Naruto series."

One of the newcomers stepped forward. He had long dark hair tied in a ponytail, a purple cross-shaped tattoo on his forehead and a friendly smile which Zabuza knew meant nothing at all.

"I am Bankotsu and these are my brothers. We are the notorious Band of Seven from the Inuyasha series."

"What's with the Huns?" asked the shortest one whose wide mouth made him look rather like a toad.

"Read your badges. You all have them too," Zabuza said.

The Band of Seven members all looked down at their robes. Bankotsu pulled his higher up and cleared his throat like he was about to make a speech.

"Bankotsu, leader of the Band of Seven, a notorious group of mercenaries. Usually referred to as 'The Huns' in AMVs that feature the Disney Mulan's 'I'll Make a Man Out of You' song."

His other brothers' badges had similar wording except for their names.

"But we're _not_ the Huns," said the most feminine member of the group with two green vertical lines below his eyes. He looked rather upset. "I am waaaay prettier than any Hun could be."

"And what's with the song title?" asked another with a bandanna wrapped around his head. "I'm already a man." The 'Wanna take a look?' challenge at the end was unsaid but implied.

"Maybe it refers to Jakotsu," said the short one slyly.

"I'm as much of a man as you are, Mugetsu!" Jakotsu - the pretty one - exploded. "Taller too! Just because I can rock a kimono and prefer to kill cute guys, that doesn't-"

Bankotsu sighed and raised a hand.

"Enough," he ordered.

Jakotsu and Mugetsu pouted.

More footsteps sounded and everyone turned to see another group of ten individuals in white robes approaching them.

"Are you all the Huns?" Mangetsu asked them.

"What? Hell, no! We are the Espada!" said a tall male with a shock of bright blue hair.

"Have you not heard of us?" asked the bald, dark skinned man beside him.

"No and you might want to read the badges on your clothes," Bankotsu advised.

Amidst mutterings, robes were tugged up and tiny writing read and then an outcry ensued.

"We _are_ men! Well, most of us, Tia Harribel is female."

"Darned right I am!"

"Who is Disney?"

"Who is Mulan?"

"What's an AMV?"

By now, the clearing was both crowded and noisy, voices shouting in protest, swords being brandished about. Zabuza looked around, made his way to a relatively quiet corner and tried to remove the badges on his straps. He couldn't let anyone know that he had shed tears of remorse... or any sort of tears, really.

The sound of quiet footsteps made him look up to see a group of people approaching him, all dressed in black robes with high collars and red cloud motifs. The leader had spiky orange hair, purple irises with concentric circles and strange piercings around his nose.

Spotting the white badges on their robes, Zabuza groaned to himself. Whoever Disney, Mulan or AMV were, they had a lot to answer to.

\- o -

The mother and daughter chuckled while staring at the small TV screen on the counter.

"Isn't it hilarious how 'The Huns' all look different in those AMVs?" said the mother.

"And how Captain Li Shang looks different as well?" said the daughter.

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


	10. Madara, Aizen, Naraku & Guests

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone and enjoy this next chapter :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Characters:** Madara Uchiha, Sosuke Aizen, Naraku and Voldemort.

 **Spoilers:** Spoilers for the Naruto Shippuden, Bleach, Inuyasha anime series  & the Harry Potter books.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi  & Harry Potter belongs to J. K. Rowling.

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of dark eyes opened and looked around.

Madara Uchiha found himself standing in a small clearing in a forest. There were two individuals approaching from his left and right, two powerful beings whose chakra... almost matched his.

He waited calmly until they came into view. Both were very tall (taller than him!) and good looking brunettes; one with long flowing hair and red eyes, and the other with short hair and brown eyes.

The three looked at each other in silence and then-

"Who are you?" They all demanded at the same time, arms imperiously folded across their chests.

It was the short haired brunette who spoke after a moment, offering a placating smile.

"Gentlemen, I don't mind going first. Sosuke Aizen, former Fifth Division Captain of the Gotei 13 of the Bleach series, at your service."

"Madara Uchiha."

"Naraku."

If Aizen was annoyed by the brevity of other two's introductions, he didn't show it, but merely looked around.

"Pleasure. Either of you know where this place is?"

"No," Madara replied. "Maybe that badge you're wearing will tell us?"

Aizen looked down and saw the plastic badge on his pristine white suit. He tried to remove it, failed and tugged it higher to read the tiny writing.

"Sosuke Aizen, shinigami and one of the villains of the Bleach series. Determined to merge with the Hougyoku to become a perfect being and take over the world," he read aloud and raised an eyebrow at Naraku.

Naraku glanced down and blinked at the plastic badge on his kimono. He too, tried to remove it, failed and tugged it higher to read the tiny writing.

"Naraku, demon and main villain of the Inuyasha series. Determined to collect all the Shikon jewel shards to take over the world," he read aloud and raised an eyebrow at Madara in turn.

Madara sighed and yanked the badge on his robe higher.

"Madara Uchiha, ninja and one of the villains of the Naruto series. Determined to collect all the tailed beasts to take over the world," he read aloud.

All three villains snorted.

"Didn't work. I was still defeated by Ichigo Kurosaki and friends," said Aizen.

"And I was still defeated by Inuyasha and friends," said Naraku.

"And I by Naruto Uzumaki and friends," said Madara.

In the sheepish silence that followed, rapid footsteps were heard and another very tall male strode into the clearing, dressed in plain black robes. He was bald, had red eyes and no nose and was also taller than Madara.

"What's this?" the newcomer demanded in a high cold voice. "A gathering of notable villains who didn't invite me?"

"That depends on who you are," Aizen replied.

"Lord Voldemort, villain of the-"

"Just read the badge on your robes," Madara interrupted.

Annoyed, Voldemort glanced down at his robes and pulled the white badge higher.

"Voldemort, Dark Lord and main villain of the Harry Potter books. Defeated by Harry Potter and friends despite the use of Horcruxes."

He looked around at the others, but they shook their heads.

"I showed how wicked I was in the Bleach series by stealing countless souls to feed the Hougyoku," Aizen explained.

"I showed how evil I was in the Inuyasha series by manipulating others to collect all the Shikon shards for me," Naraku added.

"And I showed how dastardly I was in the Naruto series by persuading others to collect all the biju for me," Madara said.

"So?" Voldemort looked between them.

"You didn't collect anything throughout the series," Aizen told him almost kindly.

"I did! Gaunt's ring! Salazar's locket! Ravenclaw's diadem! Hufflepuff's cup!"

"But you collected those before the series started, didn't you?" Naraku pointed out. Smirking, he threw one arm around Aizen's shoulders, the other around Madara's and turned to leave, calling over his shoulder, "Sorry, not qualified to join our club."

"Besides, you have no nose," Madara added rather snidely.

Aizen just chuckled.

"How _dare_ you three mock me!" Voldemort howled, whipping out his wand. "Avada Kedavra!"

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


	11. Kagome Higurashi & Lucy Heartfilia

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Characters:** Kagome Higurashi and Lucy Heartfilia.

 **Spoilers:** Spoilers for Inuyasha Episode 58 (Fateful Night in Togenkyo Part II) and Fairy Tail Episode 196 (Zirconis' Magic)  & 226 (Fairy Tail of the Dead Meeeeeeeeen)

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Fairytail belongs to Hiro Mashima.

\- Chapter Start -

Kagome Higurashi opened her eyes and found herself standing in a small clearing in a forest.

Wait - hadn't she had this dream before?

The sound of footsteps on dry leaves made her spin around to see a pretty girl dressed in a blue cropped top with long sleeves, brown miniskirt and thigh high boots. Her blond hair was caught up in a two pigtails and she had large brown eyes.

"Hello, I'm Kagome Higurashi, schoolgirl and female protagonist of the Inuyasha series," Kagome introduced herself. "Who might you be?"

"Lucy Heartfilia, celestial wizard and female protagonist of the Fairy tail series."

They both bowed and smiled at each other.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" Kagome asked, glancing around. "I feel like I've been here before, but I don't know where here is."

Lucy looked around as well, frowning.

"I'm not sure. I could ask Virgo if you like - she's one of my celestial spirits. But maybe one of your badges will tell us?"

Looking down, Kagome blinked at the two white plastic badges on her school uniform shirt. She was sure she only had one before. Tugging her school shirt higher, she read the tiny writing on the second badge.

"Kagome Higurashi, schoolgirl and female protagonist of the Inuyasha series. Was caught stark naked by the male protagonist and ended up wearing his clothes. Oh!"

Kagome clapped her hands to her red cheeks.

"I remember! We'd been caught by that evil sage Tokajin and somehow I found myself alone, naked and in a bath. Then Inuyasha burst in, and I was so relieved to see him that I stood up! And he saw... well, he saw everything!"

"He did? That must've been fun," Lucy remarked with a laugh.

"But it wasn't! Our group was in trouble because Inuyasha was human that night which meant he didn't have his usual strength."

"Human that night?" Lucy repeated in puzzlement.

"Yes. You see, Inuyasha is a _hanyou_ or half-demon. He turns fully human for one night a month. His father was a full demon while his mother was a human, like me."

"I see." Lucy's eyes twinkled mischievously. "So... anything interesting happened _after_ he saw you naked?"

Kagome waved both her hands in front of her face, laughing and blushing again.

"Oh, nothing! Nothing at all! He just sat down, looked away and tossed me his fire rat robe to wear. He said it was bloodstained and dirty, but it was still better than nothing. He's really very shy underneath all that brashness."

She took a deep breath, exhaled and nodded at Lucy.

"Well! We still don't know where we are. What does your badge say?"

Lucy looked down, tried to remove the white badge on her top, failed and pulled her shirt up higher to squint at the tiny writing on it.

"Lucy Heartfilia, celestial wizard and female protagonist of the Fairy tail series. Was caught stark naked by the male protagonist and ended up wearing his clothes. Oh!"

Lucy started laughing again, her cheeks turning as red as Kagome's.

"I remember that too! I was in a white bunny costume because we had accepted a job to help out a restaurant and my job was to promote it. But Ichiya - the leader of the Blue Pegasus Guild - developed a 'parfum' that he used to turn our friends and townspeople into his lookalikes. Trust me, that tiny lecher Ichiya makes my skin crawl especially when he tries to smell you and goes 'Sniff sniff'. Eww, gross! Anyway, while Natsu, Happy - Natsu's Exceed, just think of him as a flying, talking and _very_ annoying blue cat - and I we were trying to escape, we realised my bunny costume hid my scent from the others. That was when Natsu and Happy insisted on squeezing into the suit as well. Needless to say, it tore right up so Natsu gave me his dark blue coat to wear."

She ran out of breath and frowned.

"I can't remember if he saw any part of me though."

Kagome clasped her hands together.

"How romantic! He gave you his coat?"

"Puh-leez don't think he's such a gentleman like your Inuyasha. I had to insist on it!"

Kagome giggled.

"Well, maybe he wanted to look some more?"

Lucy rolled her eyes, looking annoyed.

"Trust me, he's oblivious to my er, charms. We once got tossed around in a giant bell with me naked after a dragon removed my clothes with a spell - _why_ do I keep losing my clothes or getting them all torn up? - and Natsu wasn't in the least bit flustered! He even-"

Lucy stopped abruptly, her mouth snapping shut and her face turning even redder.

"He even what?" Kagome prompted, curious.

"Nothing! Let's walk around, maybe we'll-"

"Tell me!" Kagome begged.

Lucy sighed.

"He said he would cover my boobs and he did! With his hands!"

Kagome gasped, her eyes straying to Lucy's very impressive bosom. It was even bigger than hers, which was saying something.

"And then?" she squeaked out.

"What do you think? I slapped him, of course!"

Kagome laughed.

"Oh well, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it," she said.

"I guess," Lucy shrugged, but she looked more wistful than annoyed now.

Kagome reached out to squeeze her shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'm sure this Natsu of yours will come around one day," she said.

"Thanks," Lucy said and smiled.

"And then he _really_ won't be able to keep his hands off you!" Kagome continued happily.

"Hey! I'm not sure if that's what I want!"

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


	12. Ichigo Kurosaki, Yamamoto & Edward Elric

**Author Notes:** Hello again, everyone! Enjoy more silliness :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Characters:** Ichigo Kurosaki, Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto  & Edward Elric.

 **Spoilers:** Bleach Episodes 55 (The Strongest Shinigami! Ultimate Confrontation Between Teacher and Students)  & Fullmetal Alchemist Episode 1 (Those Who Challenge the Sun).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo while Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa.

\- Chapter Start -

Ichigo Kurosaki opened his eyes to find himself standing in a small clearing in a forest. He looked around, frowning.

Wasn't he here before with that Naruto Uzumaki?

Was he dreaming again?

Then he looked down at himself and blinked.

And why was he wearing the light brown cape Yoruichi had lent him on the day of Rukia's execution?

There were two round white badges pinned to it. Before he could take another look, the sound of footsteps made him spin around to confront a... child... no, teenager with yellow hair in a long braid and golden eyes narrowed in an even fiercer frown than his own. The blond wore a dark red coat which reached down his knees and black boots.

"Hi," Ichigo said after a moment. "Ichigo Kurosaki, MC of the Bleach series."

"Edward Elric, MC of the Fullmetal Alchemist series," the other boy replied, still frowning. "Where is this place? What am I doing here?"

"Well, let's see." Ichigo pulled up one of the badges pinned to his cape and squinted at the tiny writing on it. It was the same one as before so he turned his attention to the other one.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, MC of the Bleach series. Whipped off his cape in a total badass moment just before a fight."

He blinked in surprise and then he grinned.

"I remember," he said. "Good times, good times."

Edward looked down at himself. He tried to pull off the badge sticking to his red coat and failed.

"It's stuck!"

"You can't remove it. Just read what it says," Ichigo advised.

Edward scowled as he tugged the badge higher up.

"Edward Elric, MC of the Fullmetal Alchemist series. Whipped off his coat in a total badass moment before a fight."

He gave a sudden, fierce grin.

"Hell yeah, I remember that! I was at this church in Lior-"

"I was at Soukyoku Hill in Seireitei-"

"- trying to find the Philosopher's Stone-"

"- trying to save Rukia Kuchiki from her execution-"

"- fighting a chimera and a giant bird-"

"- fighting Byakuya Kuchiki-"

"- my coat sleeve was torn anyway."

"- cape was cool, but it restricted movement."

They both stopped and stared at each other and then they started chuckling.

"Is that the cape? How'd you remove it?" Edward asked.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at him, still grinning. One hand went to the crest attached to his cape and he pulled it loose before flinging the cape up. Just like that day, he wore Shinigami robes underneath, the left shoulder and sleeve cut off.

"Not bad," Edward said with a smirk.

"Thanks. How about you?"

"Heh." Edward's smirk widened. His left hand gripped his right coat sleeve and then he pulled - hard. The sleeve ripped apart and he flung the coat aside, revealing his right shoulder and arm to be fully metal.

Ichigo's eyebrows shot up at the sight before he whistled.

"Cool. Shame about your coat though." He didn't think it was polite to ask about the metal arm.

Edward shrugged.

"I can transmute it anytime I want. No biggie."

"What's transmu-"

"HAH!"

Startled, the two teens swung around to see an old man standing there. He was slightly stooped and bald, with a long white beard and a white coat draped over his shoulders.

"Young whippersnappers nowadays don't know how to do things right!"

"Old man?!" Ichigo yelped in shock.

"What, you know him?" Edward asked.

"Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto, Captain Commander of the Gotei 13," Ichigo muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"What's the Gotei-"

" _This_ is how you remove your coat in a total badass moment!"

Yamamoto raised his arms to shoulder height and with a surge of reiatsu, sent his coat flying straight up.

There was a moment of silence.

"Hey, are we supposed to applaud?" Edward hissed to Ichigo behind his hand.

"Er..."

"Well! What have you two got to say for yourselves now? Ichigo Kurosaki! Is _that_ how you treat a precious cape bearing the noble Shihouin Crest?!"

"Uhm. No, sir," Ichigo mumbled, head bowed in shame.

"And you, young man! I might be able to overlook tearing your coat during battle, but to deliberately rip it apart like that?!"

"But I can easily-"

"No excuses!"

Yamamoto reached for his walking stick which splintered to reveal a zanpakuto. Ichigo and Edward exchanged a single wide eyed look... and then they spun around and fled.

"GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT FINISHED LECTURING YOU TWO BOYS YET!"

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


	13. Yuuki Cross, Yona and Rukia Kuchiki

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! It's been some time since I updated this series so enjoy this next chapter :)

 **Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOC-ness.

 **Characters:** Yuuki Cross, Princess Yona and Rukia Kuchiki.

 **Spoilers:** Spoilers for Vampire Knight Manga Chapter 21 (Guilty), Akatsuki No Yona Episode 5 (Roar) and Bleach Episodes 54 (An Accomplished Oath! Get Back Rukia!)  & 365 (Ichigo vs. Ginjo! Secret of the Substitute Badge).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino, Akatsuki No Yona belongs to Mizuho Kusanagi and Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

Yuuki Cross opened her eyes and found herself standing in a small clearing in a forest.

The sound of footsteps on dry leaves made her spin around to see a girl as petite as she was. She had short unruly red hair, large violet eyes and wore formal robes.

"Hello," Yuuki greeted. "I am Yuuki Cross, female protagonist of the Vampire Knight series."

"Princess Yona, female protagonist of the Akatsuki No Yona series. Pleased to meet you."

They bowed and smiled at each other.

"So, do you have any idea where we are?" Yuuki asked, glancing around. "This forest doesn't seem familiar to me so we can't be near Cross Academy."

Yona looked around as well.

"It's not familiar to me either, but I'm sure Hak would know. Is that your school uniform? And your school badge?"

Yuuki looked down and saw the white plastic badge attached to her school jacket. She tried to pluck it off but it seemed to be stuck fast. She finally pulled her jacket higher to read the tiny writing on it.

"Yuuki Cross, female protagonist of the Vampire Knight series. Petite enough to be carried under the arm by a male protagonist," she read aloud and scowled. "I know! I've had it with being short! Zero teases me about it all the time!"

"Who's Zero?" Yona asked and glanced down at herself. "Oh, wait - I have a badge too."

She tried to pluck it off her robes but it seemed to be stuck fast as well. She pulled it higher to read the tiny writing on it.

"Princess Yona, female protagonist of the Akatsuki No Yona series. Petite enough to be carried under the arm by a male protagonist," she read aloud and sighed. "Don't I know it. I wish I were taller."

"Exactly!" Yuuki nodded. "It makes me feel useless especially next to Zero or Kaname-senpai who are both about six feet tall!"

"I know what you mean," Yona agreed. "Hak is six feet tall too."

Yuuki folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

"Zero came to my rescue the other night and fought a vampire who had entered the Cross Academy school grounds. One minute, that vampire was rushing me and the next, Zero had tucked me under his arm while he caught the vampire's claws in his other hand. That was... well, that was cool, but I felt like a child!"

Yona nodded.

"Hak did something similar. When we were being pursued by the Fire Tribe soldiers, he evaded them by leaping up the cliff side, deflecting the arrows that rained all about us with his blade, and all the while keeping me tucked under one arm. That was... well, that was heroic, but I felt like a child too!"

The sound of a cough made them spin around to see another petite female standing there. She had short black hair with a lock that fell over her face, and large purple eyes. She wore a Shinigami outfit on which were pinned two white badges.

"Rukia Kuchiki of the Bleach anime," she introduced herself briefly. "As you can see, I'm about the same height and build as you two."

All three girls bowed and smiled in greeting.

"Now, how many times did this Zero of yours tuck you under his arm?" Rukia asked Yuuki.

"Er... once."

"And how many times did this Hak of yours tuck you under _his_ arm?" Rukia then asked Yona.

"Once."

Rukia gave an unladylike snort and drew herself up to her full height.

"Then you two have no right to complain," she declared. " _I_ was carried in that same position, not once, but twice - _twice!_ \- and by two different guys!"

Yuki and Yona clapped their hands to their cheeks in shock.

"No!" they cried.

"Yes! Ichigo did that after rescuing me from my execution. Then he had the gall to launch me like a rocket - _a rocket!_ \- towards Renji who barely managed to catch me!"

Yuuki and Yona gasped in mutual horror while Rukia took several deep breaths to calm herself.

"So, who was the other guy who carried you under his arm?" Yona asked curiously. "Was it this Renji?"

Rukia sniffed and folded her arms across her chest.

"No, he wouldn't dare."

"Then who was it?" Yuuki asked.

"It was... uh, Byakuya-nii-sama, my older brother. Actually, my adopted older brother. Long story."

They were all silent for a while and then Yuuki held up a clenched fist, eyes sparking with determination.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm going to give Zero a piece of my mind," she declared. "No more carrying me under his arm!"

Yona nodded and held up her own fist, eyes narrowed with resolve.

"I'm going to tell Hak the exact same thing!" she agreed.

They both turned to Rukia with expectant expressions, but she just sighed.

"I'll tell Ichigo, but it won't make any difference," she muttered.

Yuuki and Yona sighed and lowered their fists, knowing the same was true for both of them.

"We can still try," Yuuki suggested and turned to Rukia. "That includes telling off your nii-sama as well."

Rukia blushed and looked scandalised.

"I can't tell him that! He's my onii-sama! Besides, he thought I was unconscious at the time."

"But you weren't," Yuuki said with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope. So I kept quiet, even when he passed me to Renji who draped me across his uhm... thigh."

Rukia blushed deeper as Yuki and Yona started giggling.

"Let me guess, you're not going to tell Renji off for that either," Yona guessed, smirking.

Rukia tossed her head and then she gave a slow wink.

"Of course not. Why would I when it felt so comfortable?"

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


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